This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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