Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
