You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
