I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
