id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
