Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry maryland22 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(518): View more from New York

I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

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(813): View more from Florida

i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.

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(626): View more from California

I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.

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(509): View more from Washington

I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.

(434): View more from Virginia

Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.

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(626): View more from California

The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...

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