Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
