Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize