hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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