whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
