Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
tell me about the eggs
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
