so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
