she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
