i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It's just like the Real World with babies
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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