Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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