I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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