Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
