she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
