who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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