"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
