My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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