I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
