Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize