i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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