"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
