the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
