told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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