glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
