I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
