Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
