I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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