Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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