mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Two words: blizzard sex
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize