idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
