Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
