ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
