Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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