My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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