you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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