he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
