I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
