no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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