do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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