i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
