if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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