Plan B is the new Plan A
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
