He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
