Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
