dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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