My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
