You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
