Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
