there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
