I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
