I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
