is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
