Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
