Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
