could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
