the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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