i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
