yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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